How seriously we are all craving social contact. As I do my daily walks around town these mornings, I’ll wave or say “Good morning” to anybody and everybody. That’s why, when a friend I hadn’t seen in months pulled up in his car, I jumped at the chance to talk – he in his car, I two metres away. We talked about work, or lack of it. Then, I asked how his family was doing, in particular his university-age daughter.
“Well, to be honest, not great,” he said, “COVID.”
“Really?” I said, thinking that she’s awfully young to be infected.
“No, not that. The isolation at university, never leaving residence.”
He told me that a lot of young people away at college and university have been debilitated by essentially not being allowed out of (or choosing not to leave) their campus housing units. As keen as they are to excel and score good grades, and as adept as they are at online learning, their success is being undermined by a lack of basic human contact – in the classroom, at the cafeteria, at the athletic centre, or at the campus pub.
We’re all pretty quick to criticize the 20-somethings for defying the pandemic lockdown rules, thumbing their noses at curfews, and snubbing Ontario’s emergency measures to party, party, party. In fact, young people I know – whether post-secondary age, elementary-school age and every age in between – have tried to take the restrictions seriously.
They care about not infecting their elders or their peers. They’re keeping their distance. But they’re also bearing the brunt of this antithetical behaviour. There’s no socializing. There’s no conversation (even two metres away). There’s just silence, emptiness and forced aloneness. And it’s not always healthy.
A year ago, debate raged across Ontario about the upside and downside of at-home online learning. Now, young people have no choice. Until schools are safe to fill with students again, young people are on their computers, tablets and cellphones whether they like it or not.
But increased screen time isn’t a panacea. And last week, a University of British Columbia psychology professor noted, all that screen time can make youth more vulnerable too.
“We’re seeing increased rates of anxiety, depression and video-game addiction,” Dr. Shimi Kang told CBC News. “Increased screen time – can be very negative too. We’ve seen cases of increased cyber bullying.”
As I see it (and I have no professional credentials at all, except the experience of being a parent and a grandparent), part of the answer is to get young people outside and active. Shovel the walk. Build a snow fort. Walk. Run. Bike when the roads are dry. Toboggan on a hillside safely distanced. Be a kid. The other day, I walked by the arena and saw all the artificial ice removed and in piles in the parking lot. I get it – if the lockdown won’t allow youth to figure skate or play hockey, why waste money maintaining the ice?
OK, save money. But let’s get creative and find ways to get our kids physically active and less vulnerable to what might be a greater expense and a darker problem later – poor mental health. If they can’t skate in a confined space, flood a parking lot somewhere, or organize pleasure skating on a nearby pond, so kids can at least skate – masked and physically distanced – but getting exercise outside! Think proactively for a change. Goodness knows, more of us have time on our hands.
I read a Youth Mental Health Canada study this week. It’s found that 60 per cent of students – ranging in age from 10 to 20 – had no one to turn to with an emotional or mental health problem. The 400 students surveyed across the country, said lonely youth have some coping skills. Listening to music proved was a common strategy for combatting stress (about 60 per cent of youth do that). About 40 per cent talk to a friend. But interestingly, only 27 per cent said they were able to talk to a family member.
A related study at Harvard University, cited in Scientific American, showed “when you believe you have people in your life who care about you, you are less likely to catch a cold, have a stroke or heart attack, slip into cognitive decline or develop depression. You may even live longer!”
About a week after I spoke to my friend about his child isolating on the university campus, we spoke on the phone. He said that the family had brought her home from university. “Big difference,” he said. “Some home cooking and tender-loving care from Mom and Dad have helped.”
When Dr. Kang offered advice about youth battling loneliness, she said, “Your brain is not broken. It’s just unfinished. Get exercise, regular sleep, sunlight and positive social connection.”
A prescription young and old might well consider.