That long-distance feeling? No thanks.

At the beginning of the lawn cutting season, I needed my mower maintained. So, I took my mower to its usual tune-up clinic – Uxbridge Small Engines. When I arrived, the place was humming with activity. In the workshop, mechanics were busy tearing apart boat motors. On the sales floor, the staff informed customers about everything from chain saws to ATVs. I rolled in my tired, little old lawn mower and was told it might be a few days before they could get to it. I winced and went home expecting to see my lawn grow to baling length. Next day, I got a call.

“Mr. Barris,” said Tania at the shop, “your lawn mower’s ready.”

I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. I knew had no excuses left. With the mower up and running I’d have to tackle the lawn that day. But I truly was surprised that the shop had completed the work so quickly. I really had witnessed how busy they were the day before, so when I picked up the mower I commented on its speedy return. Tania just smiled as if to say “it’s just a matter of customer service” and she was right. It’s not something we encounter often enough these days.

I might be considered ancient for saying so, but I really miss the good old days when the personal touch was included in the price of things. Remember when gas stations used to be called “service” stations? When receiving mail meant hand delivery to your door? When sales staff seemed to be waiting around every corner in your favourite store? Call me old fashioned, but I’d rather wait in line for a cashier than deal with an automated self-cashier system. I like being sold a pair of shoes, not trying on samples down an empty, clerk-less, box store aisle. And though I’ve adapted to Internet banking, I still prefer making deposits and withdrawals face-to-face with a teller.

That said, I know my preference for hands-on customer service is hopeless. In a world more focused on building profits than on maintaining relationships, when corporations often care more about satisfying shareholders than customers, and where globalized business means it’s most important to deliver products and service by the cheapest means possible, I realize my desire for a friendly smile, a human voice and a personal touch when I go shopping is fast going out of fashion. My experience just last week illustrates the point.

A good friend of mine has recently helped me build a website. It’s not necessarily the way I’d prefer to make contact with a public that might want to know more about my writing, broadcasting and teaching, but more and more there are people – in distant places – wishing to use the Internet as a means of introduction.

At any rate, with the site assembled, I approached the same company that handles my telephone service, you know, the one whose namesake is reported to have said, “Mr. Watson, come here I need you” on his original communications invention. Armed with all the computer programs, user names and passwords I thought I needed, I called said company for assistance (it took me several attempts, the lines were too busy).

“Thank you for calling, sir,” said the woman with a east-Indian accent (when I asked, she said she was indeed in Delhi, India, but I thought, if she didn’t mind being awake in the middle of the night, that was fine with me). “This call may be recorded and monitored for quality control purposes,” she added. No problem, I said.

Then, when I indicated I wanted to launch a new website, she went off the line once, then again, and again. When, after I had repeated the problem several times, it became clear that my telephone company’s customer service department wasn’t that at all, I tried using the Internet Q-and-A method. Same result. What proved most offensive in the conversations, however, was that my request might be an attempt to breach their corporate security, they said, and worse, that ultimately neither she nor any of her customer service colleagues had been trained to remedy such a problem.

You mean, I’m the only customer who ever asked to launch a website on the biggest telecommunications company’s server in Canada? I felt privileged, momentarily, then entirely flabbergasted. Needless to say, I have since contacted a service provider closer to home, with a human spokesperson, and with service almost as close as my lawn mower maintenance clinic.

I only wish Tania, at Uxbridge Small Engines, knew how to launch websites.

Everybody’s Uncle Monti

When I first saw him, he was reading a newspaper. Not one I recognized.

But that’s OK. Canada is not his home. English is not his first language. And we were, after all, staying at his home – the Hotel Levante, in Rimini, Italy. My wife Jayne and I had arrived there to meet the man known in those parts as “the adopted Canadian.” When he emerged from behind the newspaper and approached us, it seemed as if his entire body smiled.

“Signore Monti?” we asked in our best tourist Italian.

“Uncle Monti,” he responded. “Everybody calls me ‘Uncle’ Monti.”

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Canada Day and disaster

Ninety-five years ago this week Canada suffered unexpected disaster.

It was June 30, 1912. Every street and every building in Regina, Saskatchewan, was festooned with bunting and patriotic flags. Two weeks of intense heat and humidity hadn’t dampened Reginans’ anticipation of the national anniversary (then called Dominion Day) the next day. Then catastrophe struck. The sky darkened in the middle of the afternoon. Winds rose to more than 500 miles per hour and the resulting cyclone sliced right through the centre of the city. In twenty minutes the storm killed 28 people, destroyed 400 buildings and caused $5 million damage. One resident described the blocking out of the sun that summer afternoon.

“It was as dark as the inside of your hat,” he said.

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First day of summer

Today is the anniversary of my favourite first day of summer.

One spring night on my way home from delivering newspaper copy to the Star Phoenix, (I was freelance writing in Saskatoon then), I walked across one of the massive bridges spanning the Saskatchewan River. I stopped half way across and stared upward. There from north to south from horizon to horizon, danced the Northern Lights. Shimmering, sparkling and awe-inspiring, the rainbow of colours and patterns of aurora borealis lit up the nighttime sky like a three-D movie.

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Barris goes blogosphere

There is no fear greater in my world.

The turning point occurred for me about 1980. The freelance world of writing had suddenly changed. I had recently moved to Alberta. The work seemed incredibly plentiful – not unlike the way it is now in Western Canada. The demand to be everywhere and cover everything in news and current affairs had become paramount. But it wasn’t so much a matter of what or whom I knew anymore. It appeared to be how quickly I could deliver. A close writer friend pointed it out to me.

“Word processors, have you seen them?” he asked. “Seems like we’d better get one or we’ll be left behind.”

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When old soldiers fade away

The meeting came to order as the Officer Commanding pounded the handle of a former German hand grenade atop a former German military helmet. The makeshift gavel brought all hubbub in the room to a sudden halt. And 21 Canadian army veterans seated ’round a horseshoe-shaped dining table all recited a lusty and lurid poem mocking a long-ago enemy – the Kaiser and his generals.

“Good evening,” the OC said. “Welcome to the final meeting of the Byng Boys Club.”

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Vimy moments

The statue of Mother Canada mourning her dead - part of the refurbished Vimy Memorial.
The statue of Mother Canada mourning her dead - part of the refurbished Vimy Memorial.

The Queen, the French prime minister, Prime Minister Harper, assorted other dignitaries, at least 4,000 young Canadian students and thousands of French and Canadian citizens were there. They had all assembled on a hillside in north-central France to commemorate perhaps Canada’s greatest military victory in the Great War at Vimy Ridge, on April 9, 1917. The tour of 112 people, for whom I’ve provided commentary this week, had dispersed into the overall crowd of 25,000. Suddenly, this older man approached me.

“You are a Canadian?” he asked.

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A man of honour

A notice in the newspaper a few weeks ago, lamented the recent passing of a local resident. The short obituary noted that Terry Haddock’s family would miss him dearly, as would members of the boating and billiards community. But the notice also mentioned the loss to his many friends. One of those friends is another Uxbridge resident. Fred Barnard will miss Terry Haddock mostly on Thursdays when the two regularly shared conversation and refreshment at the Legion.

“It was easy to talk to him,” Fred Barnard said. “I’ll miss that.”

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